My Truth

Religion has worn me out. 

It's the same with politics. 

Too much to argue about.

Too many rules.

Too many things to divide and separate.

It's not that I have anything against religious people.

The majority of people I know 

and love most in the world are religious.

I would be hard pressed to come up with a dozen 

who aren't.

I'm just so tired of the drama. 

I'm tired of the judgments.

Tired of church walls to keep people out.

Tired of the idea that everything is all figured out 

by other people

or by books written thousands of years ago.

Truth is water!

Sometimes it's liquid

Sometimes it's solid

Sometimes it's an invisible gas or puffy white clouds.

Today my favorite truth involves 

getting to live more than one beautiful life

and a connectedness deeper than any I've ever known.

It's sort of a Buddhist/Hindu flavored truth.

Or maybe agnostic...

I'm tired of the judgements that shoot like arrows 

through my heart 

when I mention this to Christian people.

I'm tired of people inviting me to their church.

I'd rather be invited

to design a poster for a benefit for flood victims

to volunteer at an under-funded school

to sing harmony for a concert at a nursing home

to listen to someone who is lonely

to edit somebody's resume

to help organize a community garden

to pick up trash down a dirty street

to do something besides church. 

Church doesn't feel like actually doing much of anything 

besides sitting, listening, and leaving.

I'm not angry (though I used to be). 

I'm just tired. 

I have spent years of my life expending massive quantities of 

energy into religion.

And I'm done.

I feel like my efforts can have a more positive effect elsewhere.

I will continue to pour my life energy 

into relationships (many with religious people)

into organizations that aren't so exclusive

into anything I can possibly think of to positively impact others.

This is me today.

Not who I'm going to be.

Not who I used to be.

Just present day Allie

trying to be as real about her truth as she can possibly be.