Where I'm From

I'm from piles of bodies.
Carpet-burned knees, smashed faced, tangled limbs.
Rolling,
Shoving,
Body-slamming
and laughing.
Never give in,
even when your brother has been sitting on your head for five minutes.

I'm from playing tag for an hour
up and down the stairs,
around and around
the kitchen island,
then the table,
then the couch.
Mom
laughing the whole time from her recliner
with her happiest face,
then we descend
and tickle her happier
until no one can breathe.

I'm from this bratty,
controlling,
has-to-have-it-her-way,
red haired,
angel.
Who slips in before the sunrise and sticks her cold little piggy toes
right between my thighs
and asks in a small voice if it's time to get up yet.

Every day home is like a Christmas present
because this crazy red-headed girl,
who says, "But I want to sit next to Allie."
and cries every time I leave,
loves me fiercely,
like peanut butter loves jelly,
for no reason at all.

I'm from a curly-haired man who makes my sun rise every day.
Ears that hear more than I say,
Eyes that see more than just who I am in this moment,
but who I've been and will be,
and a heart that's big enough to fit all of me.

I'm from a Rush Limbaugh lovin', hard workin',
ice cream makin', Fox News watchin', family man.
He has punctured my heart with his words
over and over
but I still can't convince myself not to adore him.
He's my hero.
I call him Daddy.

I'm from people,
family,
ties that bind.
Old church hymns and campfire songs.
I'm from standing in my itchy tights by the fireplace
next to Grandpa before church on Sunday mornings.
From potlucks and baby blessings.
Bible school and church camp.
From the Lord is my shepherd and never wanting anything more
until I did.

I'm from hitchhikers,
on busy interstates and lonely mountain roads.
All sat next to me,
with different looks,
smells,
stories,
all pieces of who we are.

I'm from naming Nicaraguan babies,
crying over malnourished children
while they sit on my lap and play with my bracelets,
death due to toothache because no doctor was near.
From sweaty hikes to rural houses,
orange juice that gives you diarrhea for a week,
smiles and brown faces that stay in my mind always.

I'm from cliff diving,
Jumping off the roof just because we can,
and high places that terrify and exhilarate me.
From exploring coyote dens and climbing cliffs,
From pulling porcupine quills out of a buffalo's nose,
From watching a calf being born and a pig getting butchered.

I'm from tree fort building,
arrowhead finding,
old Indian sweat lodge exploring
and filling my shirt with baby turkeys.

From a giant blue sky framed with pine trees and mountains.
Every day filled with adventure and discovery,
never questioning my place in the world
or at least that's the way I remember it now.

Searching.
Learning.
Thinking.
I'm from those places too.

The place I'm from holds a million memories,
indescribable feelings,
different understandings of truth,
sadnesses,
fears,
joys,
and hopes.

I'm grateful for that place
because it's the road
that brought me
here.