I swam in the Black Sea today. Before I left for Ukraine, my friend Josh gave me a swimming lesson. My swimming skills have experienced serious decline since the summer I took lessons at the Redmond Aquatic Center when I was a child. Having reduced my repertoire to the illustrious “doggy paddle,” I was in serious need of a refresher course. The pointers Josh shared with me have been as valuable to me as all the Russian lessons I completed combined! We have swum almost every day here. In Kiev, we walked through the woods to a fresh water lake near our house. Here in Odessa, we take “marshukar” (the bus) several stops to the sea. The beach is always packed with people, even on cloudy days with sporadic showers! The reason we go to the beach on those days still eludes me.
Today some words I read swept my heart across the sea! Lying on my towel in the sand, I picked up my book and felt peace seep into my soul. Even just now, when I re-read the passage, I am gripped by how soundly the truth of these words feel. I have to share this truth with you. Below are the words I underlined until the end of the particular chapter that I wrote “yes” in all caps, with three exclamation points and underlined twice.
“All religions teach a message of love, compassion, sincerity, and honesty.”
“…if we put too much emphasis on our own philosophy, religion, or theory, becoming too attached to it, and try to impose it on other people, the result will be trouble.”
“Each one of us is responsible for all humankind. We need to think of each other as true brothers and sisters, and to be concerned with each other’s welfare. We must seek to lessen the suffering of others. Rather than working solely to acquire wealth, we need to do something meaningful, something seriously directed toward the welfare of humanity as a whole.”
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart, is the temple; your philosophy is simple kindness.”
So maybe this doesn’t seem like heart being swept across the sea material but it is to me! Job searching this spring was so painful! I didn’t want to sell out and spend any life energy doing a job that didn’t fit just to earn the almighty dollar. I don’t have the same checklist as everyone else: college, career, husband, babies, and retirement. After college, I hadn’t filled in the blank for “next major life goal” and this was extremely disconcerting. The reason the words I read in that book speak to me is because, that’s what I want. However ambiguous doing “…something meaningful, something seriously directed toward the welfare of humanity as a whole” sounds, it’s what I want.
AND…the other reason this book spoke to me is because a few years back, I lost my religion. I lost my belief in god. I lost the trust I felt for the human organization that is my church. This was extremely painful because those things were all buried deep in my heart. It felt like having limbs amputated when I realized the precious things I believed didn’t fit anymore. I can’t tell you how many church services I’ve attended and felt completely empty and alone. There isn’t a very easy way to explain it all--the story of how Allie lost her religion is a long one. For now it suffices to say that when I read the words in that book today, I felt the stirrings in my heart of some truth that I could believe in. And I can’t even explain how very good that felt.
Oh and the book is called, “How to Expand Love: Widening the Circles of Loving Relationships.” By HH Dalai Lama.
Wow! That's some powerful stuff. I'm glad you're reading it and totally impressed with your courage to state where you're at. I am proud of you, as a beautiful contributor to the world, as a young woman who is muy incredulouso and as someone whose viewpoint I value. May you continue to be moved by that which you see... and give voice to it. I appreciate that as well.
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