I am a woman.

Today I am flat-out fed-up with women.

I usually like to paint myself in colors of:

fair

understanding

impartial

tolerant

open-minded

forgiving

receptive

nondiscriminatory

but today I am not those things.

Today I am sexist.

How many roommate conflicts have I (or my student staff)

had to resolve since September?

About twenty-five.

How many of those conflicts were between men?

Zero.

Sure the guys sometimes pee in the elevators.

Or put on their rollerblades and play hockey in the hallways.

But I would take those things any day

over the mountain of women

clawing at each others hearts

shredding each others self esteem

ripping up each others door decorations

bashing each other on facebook

screaming in each others faces

and talking behind each others backs.

I know I'm being unfair.

Out of the 200 women who live in this building,

the 25 loudest voices fill my ears

the 25 most angry emails fill my inbox

the 25 worst insults are repeated

by sobbing women

who fill my office chairs.

I am a woman

and my heart breaks for us.

At least once a month we act like crazy people

and get angry or cry for almost no reason at all.

We feel hurt by things that were never meant to be hurtful.

Emotions move underneath us like the ocean,

we rise and fall helplessly.

Today my well went dry.

I lowered the bucket

and it came back empty.

I used my last few drops of compassion

but I needed more.

I became angry

and wrote angry things

about angry women!

My words dissipated my anger

and the spaces in between formed compassion

that rained down

and filled my well.

I am a woman

who allows herself to feel anything

but always hopes to arrive back

at compassion

love

understanding

and open-mindedness.