we are all influenced...

Today I feel aware of the power external influences have on a person. Recently, I helped my younger brother with a paper for school and it spurred a discussion about how much of an influence community/family/all-people-in-general have on a person. I said, “What if I had been raised by wolves in a forest somewhere? Would I still have the same personality characteristics? Would I still have the same opinions? Would I even be similar to who I am now? What if I was born in India? South Africa? Ukraine? As an only child? A princess? An orphan? Who would I be? What makes me who I am?”

I don’t know that I have a direct answer to those questions but in my opinion, it is impossible for us to define ourselves without others having an inherent part of our definition. There are thousands of invisible people who influence every moment of our lives, from conception to death. Most things you have ever owned, wore, drove, or ate were designed, sewn, produced, or grown by someone else. Who you are and the way you live your life would be impossible without others.

The amount of influences beyond our control is innumerable, but there are also many that we choose. I would extend the common phrase, “You are what you eat.” To something like,  “You are what you read, wear, discuss, watch, care about, etc.” My father chooses Fox News, Rush Limbaugh, and Going Rogue by Sarah Palin. I choose CNN, Michael Moore, and Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. What exactly influences those choices? I could never list them all but I know it’s not a conscious effort to oppose my dad; it just feels like who I am.

I read books about all the cruel ways animals are treated and as a result, I’m a vegetarian. I have many friends who are openly gay and lesbian (as well as a few who are scared to publicly share that fact) and I speak frankly about the injustices done to them. I am part of a Buddhist sitting group, a Jewish Community Center and a Community of Christ church here in Buffalo and participate in all without conflict.

I went out of my way to attain the influence of some of these things (like the books I chose to read) and others kind of plopped into my lap but now, there’s no way to “un-do” the influence they’ve had on me and I like it that way. I believe my dad would say the same about his good friends, Rush and Sarah, and that’s okay by me.