Homemade Rainbow Cake

One of our new gay friends turned sixty a few months ago.

This is the beautiful cake I surprised him with.

I made it myself and it was my first attempt at a layer cake!

new gay friends

Zach has joined the Buffalo Gay Men’s Chorus and it’s the best thing that’s happened in months! Well… except for Christmas with my family, my amazing all nighter 25^th birthday bash with my two highschooler siblings and our friend Myles flying in last week to surprise visit us. Seriously though, the combination of Zach and all the lovely gay men in the chorus is glorious!

Last night, the chorus sang during a large public awareness event. There has been a disturbing rise in hate crimes here in Buffalo during the last few months, so people decided to do something about it. One of the crimes just since January 1^st involved a man getting stabbed to death and the word “FAG” written on his shirt. Another  included a young woman getting jumped outside a lesbian bar and stabbed in the eye and other places. The father of this particular woman was at the event and I couldn’t help but cry when he spoke.

I’ve never really been involved in an active LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender) community before so it’s nice to live here and get involved. It’s sad that “different” people get persecuted. “Different” used to be women and black people and they had to go through hell to gain the right to be treated equally. Now it’s people who don’t fit the traditional sexual preferences of our society. This reminds me of a quote by Dr. Seuss. “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, Nothing is going to get better. It’s not.”

On the brighter side, several of Zach’s new gay friends invited us out after the event. I was definitely the only woman (besides some gorgeous drag queens) in a gay bar full of beautiful men. I’m always surprised at how warm, endearing, and hilarious they are. What’s not to love about a boisterous group of affectionate people?

My favorite part of the evening was how the guys were falling all over Zach. I can’t explain why it pleased me so much. I remember before Zach and I were dating, a few of my girlfriends were guy-talking and one said, “What about Zach Velkinburg? He has to seriously be the sexiest man on earth!” It made some Christmas-morning like excitement build up suddenly inside me and I wanted to squeal, “I know! Isn’t he wonderful?!!!?!!!” That’s exactly how I felt all evening.

By the end of the night, my cheeks hurt from laughing and smiling so much

but

I definitely

didn’t

complain.

Z n Me

Living in Bufflo, NY

Living in Buffalo, Zach and I have encountered a few misfortunes. For example: the smashing of our car window, which led to the loss of our newly acquired GPS. Also, the next week when I foolishly didn’t heave my bike onto my back and pack it up the four floors to our apartment, it vanished!

Besides the loss of our material possessions (which don’t really matter to either of us anyway), several times there has been loss of life just a few steps ahead or behind us. I was working at a chiropractic clinic and twice I called people about missed appointments and they had been shot the day before! AND both happened in our neighborhood! One died and the other, a 17 year-old boy, was in critical care.

Five days ago, Zach and I were going to a restaurant called Merge for a “Pints and Paints” event where you can go and pay $5 to use their supplies and paint. We showed up and the whole place was swarming with police and it was sectioned off with caution tape. Apparently only an hour earlier, a man had walked in and shot four people. One hour. That’s how close I was to being in the wrong place at a very wrong time. None of the other things that have happened made me feel any real fear until this.

Not that it’s really a big deal, but it could have been. I’m not afraid of death. I feel content about the amount of goodness I’ve produced in my life so far. I know a lot of people who would know that I loved them, even if I died today and didn’t get the chance to tell them again. I feel at peace with all my relationships. I’m at a good place in my heart. I mean, the worst thing in my life right now is that I’m unemployed (and by the way, it drives me crazy). But who needs a job when they’re dead? Okay, that was creepy. I retract that last statement.

I’ve never lived in a place so diverse as Buffalo. I’ve also never lived in a place this dangerous. Though maybe Gorlovka in Ukraine would be a close contender. I lived there for two weeks and my hosts feared for my safety on a daily basis. They have a homicide a week in that city. Unfortunately, there’s a homicide every five days here in Buffalo! So, I was safer in a former Soviet country half way across the world, where I don’t even speak the language, than in my apartment here in the US. And yes, I realize this probably an exaggerated miscalculation but you never know!

Anyway, I wouldn’t say I like living here but it won’t be for too much longer. I have an escape plan in the works. (Cue the maniacal laughter)